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Wealthy don’t want tax on wealthy

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Finding themselves increasingly annoyed with the persistence of their socioeconomic inferiors, Arizona’s 1 percent was at a loss to explain why supporters for InvestinEd won’t simply give up.

“What exactly is wrong with them? Taxing the wealthy is taxing those who are more valuable than your average citizen” said one wealthy commentator. “Just because we have yachts, mansions and vast corporate wealth does not mean we deserve to be taxed like everyday citizens. We may have to walk away if we don’t like your laws and go to say, Louisiana or Kansas.

“I suppose we should admire InvestforEd’s sheer persistence, but, golly, hasn’t this been over since the state Legislature tied education funding to property and sales taxes? A tax on the 1 percent is nothing but the confiscation of a small part of our inherited wealth and making the richest citizens pay slightly more in order to support public education. What’s next? Affordable college tuition? I mean, do we want our high schools to have a graduation rate like Massachusetts or New Hampshire? I think an overall ranking of 48th is just fine for public school students.”

As of writing this letter, Arizona’s most wealthy citizens said they felt a sense of renewed optimism since the state’s private schools still receive tax vouchers, which make enrollment costs affordable for the families of Arizona’s 1 percent.

Matthew Unsworth